Life revisited: painful but fun. I used to have a blog. And before that I had a good old fashioned journal. As you can see below, I like to quote myself from previous journals, in whatever journal method is current. To, as I say below, "realize that you may HAVE grown in the past 3 years! Thank God." Ha ha, try over 5 years little K8.
This is a Xanga entry from August 2006. ...
"Well it is pretty much official; I am an only child. Zack moved to Tucson this morning and left me behind forever." - The Diary of Kate Fink 10:00 p.m. 08-22-03 (This is me, in my xanga, quoting a journal from 3 years previous haha)Almost three years ago I sat in the back seat of the truck, turned up Avril Lavign as loud as I could, and cried. The 3 years that stretched before me seemed an eternity...long hours and days, with my parents...I was a tragic case of lonely for almost a full year. I know this from re-reading my journal from this time. There is nothing like an old journal to make you realize that you may HAVE grown in the past 3 years! Thank God.
So, this is the-Week, the week I have been praying for, for SO long. The week I just assumed would NEVER come because I wanted it so much. Well, I survived high school. I am now motivated, dedicated and ecstaticly awaiting my start at the University of Arizona!
Just to give all my dear friends an idea of how I am preparing myself, here is few of my MISSION STATEMENTS to keep my focused on aspects of my life such as my spiriutal, academic and relationship lives. Please don't condemn these kate-originals...I tried.
Spiritual: I ultimately desire to serve God to the best of my fallible ability; striving to put my personal relationship with Christ as well as my spiritual, theological, and doctrinal development first in every aspect of my life. SEMPER REFORMANDA!
Academic: Academic priorities must remain at a heightened level of sensitivity at all times. Habitually and enthusiastically perfecting grades, study habits, and overall academic knowledge; never forgoing the common sense approach of critical thinking and wisdom found beyond secular teachings and textbooks. Spiritually analyzing and applying learned academia to outside research, conversations, and life.
Relationships: Any and all feelings and actions towards members of the opposite sex must be a non-existing entity, in as much avoiding any and all emotional drama; unless otherwise specified by parental units. If any type of group maintained friendship ensues, it must remain indifferently platonic; all flirting and eye contact is prohibited save in any preconceived decision, and/or any extremely caffeinated situation.
Ok, so we all know the last one is a little jaded, I still like J as most of you know, but the whole 'remain indifferently platonic' still holds true in that situation.
So, to my high school years which I thought would never pass, you will not be missed. Hello, new phase of life...God DOES answer prayers, in His Time, His Will etc.
Luvsyas
k8
So as you can see..... My biggest goal in life was getting out of high school (as a homeschooled person this is hilarious) and go to college. I also loved my brother very much, desired to serve God, kick butt in school, and liked a guy named J.
I love those little Mission Statements. My spiritual goals wouldn't change much at present; my doctrinal development still has much to be desired!
My academic ones are laughable as I turned out to be a U Of A drop out... funny as you can see above it is what I had longed for SO long! And God had other plans, and thought for K8, learning the hard way was the most effective method... ugh I hate Latin. And I only like reading mythology for fun.
ahhh relationships. The guy referred to as J (NOT MY HUSBAND JOSEPH) was not an "indifferently platonic" relationship, but ended as only high-school relationships can end: Dramatically, tragically and with broken hearts. Flirt, I did for a few months in college, caffeinated it's true, because I didn't drink with the rest of them. But God kept a pretty tight reign on me, 12 months after this post was published, I was in pursuit of my current career as an LMT, I had just met my husband, and would be engaged a few months later to a godly man who seemed to reign in my 'wild' side. Joseph brings out the realistic, capable, and confident side of me.
So, wonder where 5 years from now I'll be?
A new year always makes me contemplative about the future and the past. Thankfully, I never mourn about the way things used to be, the present state of life God has me in always far superior to where I thought I was going. Go figure.
"For xgodly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas yworldly grief produces death" ~ 2 Corinthians 7:10
